Until all is lost, unto the beauty of the day.

Okay... so.

Got back from Kyoto last week with my mom. I would go into details about the trip, but I simply don't have the energy. If you want to see pictures, you can go here. The entire time she was in Gyeongju though, was, well... incredible. I wish she could have stayed longer. Really.

I wasn't stressed out when my mom was here, and I don't think I'm necessarily stressed out now, but my body is suddenly unfamiliar to me. Every few days if not less I feel nauseous and weak. I was eating extremely well in Japan, a hearty breakfast and everything, but now I am back to my old eating habits, and don't seem to ever feel hungry. And if I am hungry, I can never finish my meal. I don't know.

Let's break the last two weeks into pros and cons:

Cons

1. I got dismissed from my job... fired would be the proper verb. This happened because of my spinal/back/leg problems. I took my three days of contractual sick leave all within a week and a half of each other, and my boss approached me and said that she wanted to change teachers because I can't guarantee her that I won't need more time off in the future. And she's right, but I didn't break my contract. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. There is no guarantee that my replacement teacher wouldn't take four days of work, or that he'd even be a good teacher. I am concerned for my students, and am so, so sad that I have to leave them.

As I've said before, Koreans don't do well with sick leave. Parents complain. They are paying good money for a native English teacher, and when I'm not there, my boss has to cover my classes. The entire situation is extremely complicated, and I am getting opinions from everyone, and I don't know. It's just difficult. I've been in contact with the Korean Labor Ward and have e-mailed a lawyer who specializes in foreign teacher rights. The thing is though, is that I'm not completely opposed to going home. I would say realistically, even with the nerve root injection (which cost me a cool $200), I am only at about 35-40% of my physical capability. Obviously room for improvement.

However, she expects me to pay for my own flight home. She broke my contract based on a hypothetical. I am going to fight this (the flight home she wants me to pay), find out what my rights are, and possibly take another job within the next week, week and a half. She made a business decision, and it looks as though I might need to as well.

2. I think this is causing my body to act up. I can't seem to get a grip on my quality of life. Every day I am dealing with some other aspect of this mess. I really, really like my boss. I don't believe that she is doing anything maliciously. I don't want to believe she is capable of that. But the more people I talk to, specifically one friend who has run her own hagwon for seven years and is married to a Korean, the more I feel like an idiot. Everything from the apparently obscene taxes that are being taken out of my paycheck, to the fact that she found a replacement so quickly, to continually pushing for back surgery when I've said I don't want it, etc. The whole situation is taking an incessant toll on my body and on my life.

Pros

1. Jeff is home. Let me repeat. JEFF IS HOME! A lot has happened since he has been gone for the last seven weeks, and chatting with him has put me in a strange sort of peace. A little more complete.

2. Him and Megan are coming to Gyeongju one week from tomorrow. Holy rice balls. I just want to hug them for hours. I'm going to cry, I know it.

3. I am planning a massive road trip when I come home. Visiting my friends who are scattered around the States. Nothing sounds more appealing to me than driving (which I've greatly missed for the last 5 months) across the country with my iPod, good company, and incredible scenery. From Michigan to Montana, to Oregon, to California, to Arizona, to Louisiana, then rounding up in Florida. This is all assuming, of course, that I don't accompany Amit on her trip out west in September. It just depends. If I am coming home in early September like at this moment I am supposed to be, I will go with Amit, which would be all kinds of beautiful. If I come home in late September, I will go on my own road trip with anyone who wants to accompany me for a leg of it. It will be epic either way, and I would rather go with someone whether it be Amit or whoever than go by myself. I am currently taking applications.

4. I have a boyfriend. Haha! He's going to read this and give me a slightly harder time than usual. It's complicated, as it always is with him and I, but it's really, really good. If everything works out, we will hopefully be teaching abroad together once I get my back sorted. But yeah. Big smiles. :)

So more pros than cons, which is good. Looking over this post I have more things to look forward to than the one thing that is bringing me down. And whatever happens, I know I am not done traveling. I will only be home for as long as absolutely necessary, and then I'm off again.

Staying global, kids.